Pai: It's Pronounced "Bye"

Day One

3:03PM Just got off the mini-bus after a harrowing 3 and a half hour ride with a driver who used the yellow line as slalom track rather than a divide. Posted inside the bus was a no farting sign. At least he had his priorities in the right place.

3:21PM Found a cafe with free wi-fi (The Lonely Pai ). It is a welcome relief because we are tired and need to use the Internet to find a place to stay. It is too hot to wander around with our packs on looking for accommodation.

4:47PM Found a lovely spot called Pai Sweet Home. Stilted bungalows with A/C and lovely balconies all for 800 baht ($27) a night. Bonus we can flush the toilet paper.

Day Two

9:03AM Red curry for breakfast at The Curry Shack. It is a surprisingly delicious way to start the day.

1:30PM Back to The Lonely Pai we meet a traveller from South Korea. She doesn't know how many people live in her country so she asks us to Google it. We do and she learns it is nearly 50 million. She practices saying the number in English and then says, "okay I know the answer now; ask me again."

3:00 PM Extra long spring rolls served in a banana leaf boat. 10 baht (34cents) each.

4:07PM Got lost down a dusty road. Walked a little further to find corrugated rooftops desperate for moisture. A lady comes out of her yard. "Sawasdee kah(hello). You Engrish?"

"Canadian"

"Go walk 8 kilomah-ter good view for water fah."

"Hmm 8 kilometres seems too far to walk in this heat."

"You hot today. No walk in heat. Take motorbike."

"Thank you"

"You lost today."

"Yes we went the wrong way."

"Okay you keep going other way now."

"Thanks, we will"

She retreats back to the shade of her house and watches us leave. Then says,

"Welcome to Thailand!"

"Khob khun kah (thank you)"

Day Three

9:37AM Tried to rent a scooter. Signed the contract with no insurance. Then they said, "we keep your passport." Matt, "It wasn't meant to be."

10something. Back to The Curry Shack for more red curry.

11AM-ish Maybe we will rent bicycles... probably not.

12:23AM Lying on a semi-private vinyl bed having my legs waxed. The lady is forty nine years old and has been in business for twenty years. She puts the wax on using an old tin spoon.

1:03PM Matt goes to do laundry. I pluck the missed hairs and watch a young backpacker check in to the bungalow next door.

Warning: Mosquitoes Snatch Babies While You Browse The Internet

2:00PM Trying to write a blog post. Distracted by the bulletin board, "Welcome all Women to Dance with Mother Earth. Feel & Connect with the true Love & Joy of our Essence with Song and Movement... Garuda's Place." Also I worry that my bad karma might cause the mosquitoes to come and take away my baby.

3:45PM At Doang restaurant white twenty-somethings dressed as hippies with dreadlocks and dirty auras order burgers and smoke cigarettes. We stick with Thai food and silently judge.

Free Spirit

5:54PM Walking street is closed to cars, alcohol, and smoking. The free spirits remain.

7:26PM Walking through the open air street market. We buy some cashews from a young Muslim woman who is playing "oh star bocking(all-star boxing)" on her giant Samsung phone.

9:02PM Return to the bungalow where right next door an evening celebration has sprung up. Perhaps it is in honour of Makha Bucha day (a Buddhist holiday) tomorrow...

9:17PM There are three stages with three equally terrible acts. The speakers from a nearby pick-up truck compete to drown out the speakers from the stages. We can hear the winner from our room and decide it is going to be a long night.

Day Four

12:48AM The fluorescent light, despite being turned out hours ago, flickers hauntingly. Reminding me that I still haven't fallen asleep.

1:26AM The sounds from the speakers have finally died down but the animals are just getting started. The dogs who were lazily dozing in the heat of the day have come alive barking and howling at the moon which is stained sepia from the mountain fires. It is a farming technique the locals call "slash and burn". From this distance the fire looks like lava slowly making its way down from the hilltops.

3:44AM I am going to be grumpy and tired for our early morning mini-bus ride to Mae Hong Son. I have resigned myself to this fact and so I write in the hopes that, while I wait for the dogs to tire themselves out, I am being slightly productive. Who knows, I might just wake up in the morning and feel refreshed. Wishful thinking from a beautiful bungalow in Pai.